PEN, MEET PAPER
(my new site)

Obviously, this blog won’t be updated anymore.

Amber has decided to host me! I won’t be updating again until I get that site up and running. Yay!

WordPress.com has a very limited selection of designs/layouts, and the other one was getting on my nerves because I couldn’t do anything with the sidebar. So, here’s the new one. For now, or until I can find a better one. Bleh!

Lorelai and I had fun doing a little mini-shoot today. She’s so silly. I had to growl at her to get her to smile, lmao. Yep, my kid is weird. (See Flickr)

Reading:

Twilight Saga by Stephenie Meyer: I’ve read a variety of reviews from my online chicas about this series. The good made me want to check it out, but the bad reviews were, well, bad. However, when my friend stopped by last week with the first book in her hand for me to borrow, I didn’t stop until I was done… with the series. I went out the next day and purchased all for books so I could read (and drool) as much as I wated. Luckily my insomnia corresponded nicely with the books; I was able to read at night and fulfill my motherly duties when the sun was up. Definitely worth the read, my friends. I’ve read them twice in the past week. Whew!

The Outlander Series by Diana Gabaldon: I’m on A Breath of Snow and Ashes (Book 6) right now. It’s my 3rd time reading it, so it’s just off to the side and I keep going back to it between books. Seriously, if you haven’t read this series, do. Outlander, the first book, is definitely the best. It’s a little bit of everything — romance, drama, suspense/mystery, sci-fi (time travel), and loads of history. It’s a very intricate story that has loveable characters and a GREAT plot. Two thumbs (and all toes!) up!

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Lorelai [finally] had her 12-month doctors visit. (She’s 13.5 months now.) She’s doing well, according to her pediatrician. She’s 23 pounds and 28.5 inches (shorty!) Lorelai talked for her (only a few words) and she was definitely impressed when she copied “turtle” for her. Her word list, which consists of a whopping 22 words, will be listed below. She definitely had a language explosion during the past two weeks. She’s been spitting out new words everyday. It’s crazy, exciting, and nerve-wracking at once.

Her word list is: Hi – 6.5 months/12 months; Mama - 7.5 months; Dada – 8 months; Hey – 8 months; De – 9 months; Dog – 9 months; Bye – 9.5 months; Cat - 10 months; Hello – 10.5 months; No – 11 months; Stop! – 12 months; Night Night – 12 months; Ba Ba (bottle) – 13 months; Yum Yum (Yummy) – 13 months; Duck – 13.5 months; Here Go (here you go) – 13.5 months; PopPop – 13.5 months; What – 13.5 months; Done – 13.5 months; Yes – 13.5 months; Mommy – 13.5 months; Turtle – 13.5 months

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I’m doing okay, I guess. It’s been really busy around here, hence I haven’t been commenting on others’ blogs. Sorry about that! I’ve been reading, I just haven’t commented. Whoops. >.>

I took this photo today on the family farm. It’s a bit washed out (overexposed) but I think it works here. My little model, Lorelou.

Americans, there is no need to gloat. The numbers speak for themselves. And, for the first time in my adult life, I am proud to say that I am American. Canadians, I’m sorry, I know you’re disappointed, but I won’t be moving there afterall. We’ll see in 4 years how it plays out, okay?

I’ve got warm, warm fuzzy feelings. Hooray!

Insomnia has taken me into its clutches once again. I think it’s a delayed reaction to everything that’s been going on. I’ve been feeling a bit depressed, too, but I suspect that might be a side affect of getting only 1-2 hours of sleep at night. I was doing so well, so confident and strong, and now I’m just this zombie in an empty shell, waiting for night to come so I can finally cry. Poor Lorelai. She’s happier than ever and I know I’m still doing okay in her department. It’s just keeping myself together that’s the challenging part.

Oh, and if you haven’t guessed, DH has changed his mind again. The “deal” is off. We’re done, for real. I’m glad of that, actually, but it sucks that I keep getting rejected (without even trying!) time and time again. He makes me feel like shit about myself, and I don’t deserve that.

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Lorelai is going great. She was a bumblebee for Halloween – so cute! She wore my little brother’s costume. He wore it when he was 1, 10 years ago. It’s funny, we’re all ten years apart; Me – Little brother – Lore.  I’ve probably mentioned it a hundred times, but I love this stage. She’s so silly. She’s mastered walking and is practically RUNNING now. She climbs the stairs so quickly and is loving her freedom. I pulled the gates blocking her into the living room and now she has the whole house to run around. The cats aren’t loving it so much – Lorelou always chases them!

ETA: Here are a few pics, Amber!

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Remember that “friend” I mentioned a while back… The one that said she didn’t want to be friends anymore because I had started a family and whatnot? Well, since I’ve been back, we’ve hung out twice. I figured I’d give her another chance. Well, she handed me an envelope the last time I was over her house that asked me to be a bridesmaid. Of course I said yes, but now I’m like, “The fucking nerve of that bitch.”

• A. I’m going through a divorce. She knows this, yet she had no problem pulling out her binder of wedding plans. *grumble* I’m trying to be happy for her, but it’s annoying. She’s such a princess. You’d think she would THINK about that first, but no, it’s always about HER.
• B. HELLO, DO YOU THINK I FORGOT THAT SHIT YOU FED ME LAST YEAR ABOUT NOT WANTING TO BE IN MY LIFE?!
• C. This whole thing is a long story, but she betrayed one of my closest friends. She “backstabbed” her, basically, by getting her to talk about a mutual friend’s boyfriend and then relayed her opinions and then some. This was before she did her little announcement last year.

So, I’m wondering how to decline without being compa complete hooch. I want to give our friendship another try, but I’m not at the point of totally forgiving and forgetting yet. I had a baby, I was happy, happier than I had ever been, and she basically said she never wanted to see my baby girl. The first time she met Lorelai was when she was 13 months old, for crying out loud! I’ll never forget that, ever.

So yeah, any tips/thoughts would be greatly appreciated. Gracias! Oy, and I know this part sounds really “high school”… I can’t help that, though!

It was 43 degrees outside this morning and chilly to the bone. I hopped on the four-wheeler (Lou was with my mom) and drove over to the farm to take some photos. I love cold weather, but even more, I love plants in cold weather. I mentioned on my Flickr (link to the right) that after the plants die, they are still art. Grungy art, but art nonetheless. I prefer to photograph them in this state anyway; more texture, most of the time.

• Week of: 10/13/08 – 10/19/08
• Start Goal: 30 lbs.
• Down 12 pounds (as of 10/13/08 morning)
• DOWN 2 pound since last week
• 18 to pounds to go.

I decided to omit the daily progression. Nobody gives a rat’s ass about that anyway. So, I stepped on the scale this morning and saw that I was down another pound! Well, three from last week, but that was a fluke because I was on my period last week and retaining water. But still – a pound! Yay!

I started the job today. Today was my last day. I spent three years working around a bunch of biddy ol’ bitches who have nothing to do but talk about each other, and men who think that staring at your chest and making raunchy jokes is funny. Done, I tell you! I don’t need that job, anyway. My photography thing has been doing pretty well anyway.

DH and I had a long – I mean like HOURS long – conversation tonight, which ended in us agreeing to try to work things out. Lou and I won’t be going back to Texas anytime soon. I told him that we might consider it if he agrees to the following:

• Moving us away from his parents, into an apartment or another house across the city. Seriously, our whole marriage has been near my parents and his. We need to break off into our own and just live as a family and see how it goes. I think that might work. The majority of our arguements while we were there were about his family and his taking care of them first. And;
• Marriage counselling. I know it won’t solve problems, but I think we have major communication issues. He think I “blow up” everytime he tries to say something critical, which might be the case, but I do think that “blow up” is a bit of an overstatement here. Anywho, I think maybe a nonjudgemental third party might help.

In case you have not seen my Twitter, I got the job! The guy that interviewed me called me yesterday to ask me to come in on Monday for the official orientation and general paperwork. Yay! He assured me that I was “leagues above” the other people he interviewed, which made me feel a lot better. Though I knew one of the women that worked there, it was my own resume, experience, and interviewing skills that actually landed me the job.

From what I gathered, I’ll be doing general office/clerical work as well as working the sales floor if it gets too busy. Sounds pretty damn boring, but it’s a job, and it pays. I have a photoshoot scheduled next weekend, and one for the weekend after that! I’ll have to find a sitter for Lorelai for the few hours on the weekends that I work, but I’ll worry about that as it gets closer.